An Atheist - "SHIVA"

SHIVA - One of the most worshipped god's in Hindu Religion, 

My name is Varun and born on Ram Navmi, 

Oh..... Even my name contains a God's name but that's not what my parents thought my name could mean, actually my grandfather's name was Arun and because he left us very soon even before my mother married my father, and in the memory of my grandfather my father named me Varun. And though I never felt bad for that.

Okay coming back to SHIVA, even after I have a God's name and born on the same day when lord RAM was born, I never accepted the existence of God, and always questioned their place. In the starting my parents as other Indian parents taught me folding my hands towards their photos and to pray. But as I grew up i found that I never asked anything form God, because whatever I wanted I asked my parents so why should I pray to God. So I deem my parents my God. And after some of arguments from my parents on God, they accepted my beliefs and my points and left me live my thoughts with myself. No they don't mind this at all neither I believe that they are wrong worshipping The God, because God is someone who can give any human any kind of faith and hope and trust.

Now As I grew up i found that even somewhere deep inside me I'm hiding something from the whole world, from my friends and family. I needed to have one person who can listen to those hidden thoughts and feelings when I wanted them to share. But unfortunately I never got anyone so far.

First I started being that one person for myself on my own, talking to myself in the mirror, and when I'm alone, asking for solutions and talking about my problems.

From my whole life analysis of God one thing what I have understood was that, God is what give us hope, trust and faith upon. And because I never wanted to please God for what I want, I created a Second Character in my own named SHIVA.

A Character which came in existence with the mixture of that one person I created in myself for my support and another which I created to be reliable upon. Why I named this character SHIVA, because I found this was the word which meant to be the creator of this world apart form science.

This SHIVA came out helping me in various phases of life

Where my parents started believing that I started believing into god, but who's going to explain them this complicated mixture of feelings which created my own god which lies inside me and helping me. 

This might be possible, that's why they said god lies in you.